Some are attracted by the idea of visible effects. Some want to break the code and have more power. Some are loosers who have shit lives and want to escape into a world where they mean something and can do a career out of being initiated into something.
All reasons are equally valid. You can find a nice religion masquerading as something deeply esoteric. Some need that. Others just want to be normalised.
Write down the answers to the following questions:
"What do I believe about the world, its creation its purpose and my place in it."
(Make it into an essay. It is worth it.)
What is my relationship to :
What is it that I am looking for?
(To learn to do 99,9% success love spells? To learn how to dominate people? To have a better relationship with god, myself, others, the world?)
What completely mundane things can I do to accomplish this?
Get a social life, a career, actually swallow my stupid projections about the outer rules of the faith, stop praying to God dressup (cough most neopagans cough) or in Drag (cough goddess centered wicca cough) and actually just go to church?
Once you have written down the above, you have a plan. You might realise this is all very fun and interesting but nothing more then an interest. Thats fine. It is OK to be interested in things and not make it into your life. I like Top Gear and nice cars. I'm not a mechanic. I am interested in natural sciences and read a lot about animal behaviour and I even know a lot of fun trivia about animal life, yet I do not aspire to be the next Sir David Attenborough.
If you just want to be a Darren Brown, thats OK. If you realise you are a social misfit and you were just looking for an alternate reality to share with your friends, that also fine because now you are aware of it. If you realise you want to experience mystical states you finally will start to pray instead of doing magick, and if you want to evoke demons you will know that now you can stop meditating for hours a day and feel bad when you miss your meditation because evocation and meditation are two skillsets with as much in common as I have with a puppy.
(Posts are scheduled due to busy times. Comments might take longer to moderate and publish or reply to then usual.)