The problem starts when you think you can choose to believe in something fundamentally different from your true beliefs. The power and weakness of chaosmagick was the notion you could change your beliefs at will. Changing paradigms it was called. Grown up in a strict Catholic family? Experiment with pantheistic beliefs. Do you have a problem with Jesus Christ and the church and you've spent your young adult life dressed in black? Do some hardcore christian magick, start going to masses.
Snort illegal substances on saturday and perform a satanic mass, ripping a bibble apart, then on sunday morning go to a Mass and allow the priest to work on you. Theurgy and Atavism in one, baby.
This, however is not actually a changing of paradigms, or your real worldview. Nothing is true, they say.
The only thing accomplished by doing this is suspension of disbelief and removing mental obstacles you may have to certain sets of symbols and spiritual frameworks. It allows you to have a broader rather then a very narrow reality tunnel.
A narrow tunnel being: all this is psychological. a broad one being that all this works on many levels, one of which is the psychological and physiological changes in the brain.
It doesn't change your actual beliefs. Chaosmagick is a Monistic worldview. All is in reality Chaos, Nothing, Kia or whatever you wish to call its archetypical manifestation. It is this that is permuted changed and interacted with.
The belief that odd mental and physical actions bring about changes in the world and yourself are also constant.
Why is this relevant to this blog or me, at all?
Because I've been asked, whether one can't have several worldviews? Whether one cannot sit on the fence and be a bit of this and a bit of that.
The short answer is: yes, you can if you never want to get anywhere.
Concisely I mean: Hell, no.
The long answer is that age old saying Know Thyself. This saying doesn't mean you need to spend years getting to know yourself in a purely psychological way. You only need to know some of the basics aspects about yourself, and the way to get there is truth.
The truth hurts. The truth means we have to face reality. The truth means we have to accept ourselves and others for what they are, not for what we fear, or wish them, to be. You could spend your life dreaming of becoming an actor and yet never get over your fear of speaking in public. How does that work? Do you really want to be an actor or is it something you wanted to be to get back with at the kids who thought you were a nerd in Highschool?
Is dreaming about what should have happened what keeps you from pursuing your current course and never act because you can fall back on the should've would've could've? Then you need to stop lying to yourself.
The same is true for your worldview. Anyone with a serious interest in the esoteric and a serious understanding of its practical and spiritual aspects will at some point come to a very simple crossroads. Dualism versus Monism.
The basic dividing line, the first dividing line, without which spiritual progress doesn't happen. For some, this comes naturally, as they are in tune with their beliefs.
Others spend years never getting over this basic hurdle and thus never quite making it past the first stepping stone. This is, because the choice is already made.
It is at this point we have to be aware that the Tunnel and the underlying paradigm are not the same thing.
To use a Streetmagick(tm) standard bad analogy:
You either have two eyes, or one (paradigm) and then you have many gel-colored lenses glasses and mirrorshades to look upon the world with (reality tunnels).
You can change eyewear as much as you want, however the number of your eyes remains constant.
-Sneaks away from this bad metaphor now-
So. How the heck can I claim that you already have your worldview?
Because there was a point when you had that first hunch. That first spiritual bone in your body twitched. Biologicaly it could only twitch one of two ways.
It could have overstimulated your frontal lobe and completely shut down your spatial awareness centres or done the opposite. This in turn was brought about based on the development of your brain, which we can say is the physical manifestation and hardware that stores things about your beliefs and capabilities.
The first hunch will be there no matter what you later read and what you manage to talk yourself into using logical or emotional arguments. You could claim that there are tantras that seem monistic and there are tantras that seem dualistic, there MUST therefore not really be a difference (ouch monistic belief there) or the case might be that there is a place where you SURPASS both Monism and Dualism, or somehow combine them. I guess that would be some form of halfism or naughtism?
First of all: it doesn't matter what your inner leaning is, whether it is towards a dualistic or monistic view, to anyone else but yourself. For you this is your point in the universe that allows you to move the entire world with a long enough rod.
Once you have found this little gem you will start to be more comfortable with your own cultural symbolset. You will have an easier time expanding your reality tunnels because they will be built upon a solid foundation rather then on shaky ground. It will allows you to understand everything from the point of view of your personal key.
The next step is to incorporate things into your beliefs and enrich them. I have discussed in previous posts why it isn't really the smartest thing for a Cuban man to try and learn tibetan tantra or for a russian housewife to try and become a mambo, so I will not reiterate that discussion.
Charlie believes that "angels" are a good metaphor for psychological states. (Charlie should spend his money in real therapy if he thinks magick is psychology, but never mind.)
He then starts to experience mystical states and (thank goodness) abandons the purely psychological model and starts to see the angels as agents of God.
Later Charlie has a messed up experience with his grandmothers ghost. A belief in the afterlife sets in, etc.
You should now begin to realise that your innermost belief might not be that sexy.
Ask yourself what is it that I believe? What is my gut feeling when I see children dying of cancer? What is my feeling about what happens after death?
Can you accept cancer, aids, pain and suffering as a necessary part of life, or not?
Don't think about whether you accept any religious dogm. Just think about basic things and go from there.
Is everything one in the Being of God and all is a manifestation of him? Is god and the world forever separate?
I can't give advice how to do this on a blog, but you have the basics now.
Have fun, and don't be surprised if you have the same basic belief that everyone has in the end.